Making Time for Connection
Happiness is a function of the number of deep and meaningful relationships you have.” Scott Galloway
I wrote down that quote from Scott Galloway this past week on a return flight from a work trip in Denver. He was being interviewed by Dax Shepard on the Armchair Experts Podcast and the two were discussing the deteriorating state of men in society due to many reasons, including loneliness, and the longterm health and longevity impacts it can have. Galloway referenced studies showing that being lonely in life is actually worse for us than smoking.
While this topic has been top of mind for me for a while now, this specific conversation had me taking stock of my own relationships today.
How would I rate myself? Where am I leaning in vs leaning out, and why?
Shipwrecked on Elba
Three years ago this month the world shut down. We all stayed home and tried to figure out what’s next? That’s about the time when I kicked off this whole journey of self discovery (as many others did), and started to get into philosophy, meditation, wellness, health span, and eventually into more focused areas like plant based diets and sobriety.
Basically I became the opposite of the life of the party, but that was okay, because there were no parties to go to!
Now there are, and I’m having a tough time readjusting.
A few weeks ago I noted to some close friends that I feel like I’ve unintentionally drifted off course and shipwrecked myself on Elba and realized it’s actually a pretty lonely place. At the same time, however, I don’t want to give up the practices that have gotten me to where I believe I am today.
Is it possible to have both? My guess is yes, but I believe is going to take some creativity and whole lot of proactivity to make happen.
Scheduling Time
Fearing my next step may be to paint a face on a volleyball... I’m working on building a more consistent motion of connection. Just like I have a plan for health/wellness/workouts, I’m trying to schedule more time with close friends and colleagues - coffees, walks, bike rides, workouts - where we can connect consistently. Just this morning I had coffee with a lifelong friend followed by a great 1:1 with a close colleague and the trajectory of my whole day was impacted. Energy and outlook were both flipped from red to green. It’s a good reminder to make this a practice, not just a one-off win.
On Becoming a Magnet
What’s next though? How can we find more opportunities to fill our own buckets socially and also give that same gift to others?
At the same time, how can we attract others that share some of the same values/objectives/interests that we do? This newsletter may actually be an attempt at that if I’m honest.
At the local level, because I know that proximity is also important, I’m thinking about starting a weekly Zone 2 paced morning group (cycling) ride - blending exercise and social together (win-win). I’ve had it on my mind for two years now, but this is the year to at least see where it goes. 5:45 to 6:45, start and finish at a coffee shop and let conversations from the ride carry over to 15-20 min of coffee for whoever can stick around.
Become a magnet and see what (or who) sticks.
Thanks for reading,
Paul
Plan. Progress. Grace. Move Forward.
This is where F3 has helped me tremendously over the past 3.5 years. We would love to have you back whenever it works out with your busy schedule. I have never regretted starting my morning with F3 and coffee afterwards. The number of high impact men that I have met through F3 has reached hundreds in this amount of time. I feel that the support from the group can enable me to tackle any obstacles that life may have in store for me. I definitely think that you can have both your time alone and also find time for others. Good luck brother!