Find Your Mentors
Having your mentors within close proximity is amazing, but not always possible. We do, however, have the opportunity to curate those mentors we want to learn from no matter where they live.
I’ve had (and still have) mentors that I can meet with personally, both formally and informally, and I continue to learn so much from them. My dad, my first boss who took a chance on me, my father-in-law, my current leader and many others at work, and other friends who I look to as an inspiration - someone I “what to be like when I am their age,” due to their wisdom, experiences, the love they show others, or just the way they carry themselves.
What about if you don’t have that proximity with all of the mentors or teachers you need? I also put myself in that same boat, but more on that to come.
Back to Marcus Aurelius
As a part of kicking off my year, I’ve mentioned I’m reading The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius (Gregory Hays translation) now for the third time. The only difference this time is that Book 1 jumped off the pages, as it highlights how many impactful teachers and mentors the eventual Emperor of Rome had during his rise and reign, and how thankful he was for they lessons they helped him learn through their example. It’s a gratitude journal written over 2000 years ago showing what impacted the way he lived and served others.
Here are a few abbreviated snippets, but I can’t recommend enough that you check the book out for yourself.
MY GRANDFATHER VERUS - Character and self-control.
SEXTUS
Kindness.An example of fatherly authority in the home. What it means to live as nature requires.
Gravity without airs.
To investigate and analyze, with understanding and logic, the principles we ought to live by.
Not to display anger or other emotions. To be free of passion and yet full of love.
To praise without bombast; to display expertise without pretension.
ALEXANDER THE PLATONIST - Not to be constantly telling people (or writing them) that I’m too busy, unless I really am. Similarly, not to be always ducking my responsibilities to the people around me because of “pressing business.”
MAXIMUS
Self-control and resistance to distractions.
Optimism in adversity—especially illness.
A personality in balance: dignity and grace together.
Doing your job without whining.
Other people’s certainty that what he said was what he thought, and what he did was done without malice.
Never taken aback or apprehensive. Neither rash nor hesitant—or bewildered, or at a loss. Not obsequious—but not aggressive or paranoid either.
Generosity, charity, honesty.
The sense he gave of staying on the path rather than being kept on it.
That no one could ever have felt patronized by him—or in a position to patronize him.
A sense of humor.
MY ADOPTED FATHER - ...He never exhibited rudeness, lost control of himself, or turned violent. No one ever saw him sweat. Everything was to be approached logically and with due consideration, in a calm and orderly fashion but decisively, and with no loose ends. You could have said of him (as they say of Socrates) that he knew how to enjoy and abstain from things that most people find it hard to abstain from and all too easy to enjoy. Strength, perseverance, self-control in both areas: the mark of a soul in readiness—indomitable.
Someone I “what to be like when I am their age,” due to their wisdom, experiences, the love they show others, or just the way they carry themselves.
Mentors From Afar
While, ideally, I would have the mentors and coaches I need in close proximity, like Marcus did, that just isn’t always possible. What I can do, however, is continue to curate a group of trusted people, coaches, and experts to be my mentors from afar. They help guide me along my own journey by sharing their stories and lived experiences of pain, struggle, and resilience. Of overcoming obstacles. And of helping others realize they can do so much more. As they describe how they are bringing their own lives into alignment with their personal set of values, it gives me inspiration (and a roadmap) to work on the same so that I may serve the same role for someone else, in close proximity, or from afar.
Who are my mentors from afar? The list should not surprise anyone too much...
Rich Roll - I didn’t grow up with an older brother, but if I did, I would have wanted him to be Rich Roll. He’s the future version of myself (Rich is 56) that I see walking down the street, and thankfully with his own story of resillience and those of his guests, I am able to learn and have my preconceived notions of “what’s normal” challenged and stripped down so I can discover “my normal” way of being. He’s introduced me to the world of endurance athletes, to spiritual figures from backgrounds far different from mine, and most importantly for me, to the reality that living plant-based and without alcohol is not only possible, but a key contributing factory to my thriving. Finding Ultra (book) | Rich Roll Podcast (podcast, obviously)
Dr. Michael Gervais - Mike has taught me how to talk to people in a way that opens space for them to share, and be who they are. His warmth and genuine nature come through each conversation, which just so happen to be with the elite performers in sport and business. His questions almost feel like they are directed at the person, and the listener, and I walk away inspired to take action in some way after each episode. His focus on purpose, first principles, values, and mindful presence have been central from me in my own search for the same. Finding Mastery (podcast)
Ryan Holiday - Ryan introduced me to Stoicism, and to Marcus Aurelius in the first place. His book, The Daily Stoic, is a part of my morning routine, and many of his other books have given me practical wisdom that I apply at work and at home. Listening to his Daily Stoic podcast is actually how I found Rich Roll (who then introduced me to Michael Gervais). His messaging and the introductions he’s made have been foundational for me.
Make Your Own List
Who are your mentors from afar today?
Who is missing from that list?
Thanks for reading,
Paul
Plan. Progress. Grace. Move Forward.
What I’m fueling with right now
Food: Not much...Kelly and I are just finishing up a 5 day Fast Mimicking Diet, so more to come on that in a future post.